more monkey business

First, I wanna make it clear that my child is an ARIES. He's very exuberant and we're challenged with channeling his energy in a POSITIVE direction as he learns to express his emotions.

E: squatting and focusing intently on something, while seeming to dig a small hole
Daddy: "Monkey, what are you doing?"
E: (matter-of-factly) "Planting a snail so I can grow a Snail Tree."

E: "Mommy, what color is the world?"
Me: (thinking he's referring to a satellite picture) "Well, it looks blue, green and white."
E: "White. The world is white."
Me: "Really, where did you learn that?"
E: "At my school. My teacher said the whole white world."

E: (in response to his father's obnoxious singing) "Daddy, you're a rectum!"
Me: (trying to maintain my composure) "That's not nice! How would you like to be called that?"
E: "I don't want anybody calling me rectum. I just call Daddy a rectum!"
It amazes me that a three-year-old has the cognitive ability to not only understand the meaning of the word, but also use it offensively.

His way of insulting Daddy: "HA, Daddy, you're not clean!"
His way of insulting me: "Mommy, you're a BOY!"
He usually insults us or talks back when he doesn't get his way. He won't take no for an answer, at least without kicking and screaming. Not necessarily a bad trait, but again, we're trying to steer him in a good direction.

E (After making a humming sound): "I'm going to vacuum you up Seanner because you're being a jackass!" Guess who he got that from??

E: "I'm going to eat Daddy up."
Me: "If you eat him up, you won't be able to hear him sing his silly songs."
E:"Yes I will! In my tummy!"

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